It feels bad to be aware of being wrong; so bad, in fact, that many will do whatever they can to escape the feeling entirely, even going so far as to deceive themselves into believing they are right. From the beginning of time, mankind has tried to defer their shame to others, desperate for the least bit of self-justification. Ironically, this is itself recognized as shameful behavior, a form of shirking responsibility, and invokes distaste when observed from afar. Yet I doubt there is anyone who hasn’t attempted at least once in their lives to rid themselves of guilt by denying or redefining the fault; I know I certainly have. Sometimes it’s externalized as I attempt to explain myself to my fellow man; but I suspect these situations are outnumbered by my internal excuses. Despite the audience being restricted to myself and God, I’ve known myself to contrive extensive reasoning to my missteps and defiance. To be sure, God is not fooled, and I am only the worse off if I am.
We may find a fair quantity of historical examples throughout the Bible. Despite his first-hand experience thereof, the prophet Jonah resisted acknowledgement of God’s mercy even past the exhibition of repentance his own message heralded, seemingly determined that his own interpretation of Divine judgement should be willed into reality. King Saul of Israel received testimony time and time again of God’s judgement upon him and subsequent blessing upon David, yet he continued to exert himself against David as if to subvert God’s will. We might even consider the great betrayer Judas Iscariot, who was confronted by Christ of his intent before he had sealed the deed, and even offered forgiveness, yet committed himself to the work of Satan, and suffered greatly from shame thereafter.
In many such cases, however, we intuit some degree of eventual acknowledgement, if not redemption. As such, I offer the example of the Pharisees as a more fitting depiction of shameless defiance of shame. Convinced as they were of their righteousness, these supposedly spiritual men made every effort to discredit and condemn Jesus as a heretic or worse, despite a multitude of divine testimonies to His identity as the Christ. I even perceive their attempts to instill shame in His followers to dissuade them off from Him, as I read in Luke 5:30: And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at His disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” I believe Christ’s answer was especially relevant to the sentiment of the Pharisees themselves, challenging their presumptuous self-righteousness: And Jesus answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.” (31-32)
The alternative to arrogant denial of fault is acceptance of imperfection, and while it’s one thing to be momentarily humbled for mere oversights, it is quite another to be continually reminded of my eternal inadequacy. Yet Christ Himself offers us reassurance in this, that our insufficiency is covered by His sacrifice, and compensated for by the Holy Spirit! When we acknowledge our shame and make ourselves contrite before God, we are blessed to experience the power of His renewal! Such was Zacchaeus the tax collector, who’s encounter with Jesus changed his heart from greed to generosity. Such was King Josiah of Judah, who heard the Law and determined to make right his kingdom before God. Such was Paul the Apostle, a great persecutor of the Church redeemed to a great propagator of Christ! Such may I be, and you as well, for there is no greater joy than to be absolved of shame, not by deception, but by salvation!
Let your shame lead you to Christ! TTT
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